GOVEBUSTERS!

"When there's something strange, in your neighbourhood," (you know - like a free school run by Tory party donors with multiple hidden agendas), "when there's something weird and it don't look good" (a secretary for education who acts like an undemocratic, ideologically solipsistic sociopath for example) - "Who you gonna call? Govebusters! Da-da-da, da, da!" Hours of fun...

Reshuffle: Osborne and Gove baffled at escaping unscathed

CHANCELLOR and education minister “utterly mystified,” to retain their posts says source



Both chancellor George Osborne and minister for education Mick Gove have revealed their surprise at not being shown the door in today’s changes to the cabinet.

According to a Westminster source, Osborne gushed, “Utterly mystified, overjoyed…couldn’t believe it after the Paralympics thing, the double-dip recession, that third runway at Heathrow idea, secret meetings with bankers, limiting child benefits, capping housing benefit, reducing tax for top earners, the pasty tax, selling the public’s shares in Northern Rock at a £400million loss, interference with employment and planning laws plus a load of other stuff that I can’t even remember but I know a lot of people were really pissed off about. It just goes to show that this reshuffle was undertaken by someone who has a very clear idea of exactly how much shit the British public are prepared to put up with. And that’s a fuckload, believe me.”

Gove allegedly expressed his surprise more prosaically, “I thought ‘There’s no way I’ll be staying - plus if I go, I’ll have no idea what I’ll do.’ Bit like now really.”

More to follow.

Education Centipede

The 'centipede'. Rapidly becoming the universal metaphor of our times.